Written By: Lauren Howard
That’s not the one.
My dad used to say it to me all the time.
When my feelings got hurt by a friend or a boy broke my fragile heart, he would shake his head and say, “That’s not the one.”
The one or one of the ones will come, but that’s not the one.
It wasn’t meant to dismiss my pain or upset me. He never did that. It was just meant to remind me that this is about them and not me. They weren’t who I needed, and they decided to show me that in whatever hurtful way they did. It hurts now, but they did me a favor because that person?
Not the one.
When my high school boyfriend moved to New York and shattered my heart, my dad sat with me while I cried for days and reminded me, “That’s not the one.”
I have never been a person with a lot of ones. I’ve never had a long list of people I could call or rely on to show up.
Honestly, maybe I did, but I have always been too insecure to believe that it was okay to ask for what I wanted and needed. My husband put a ring on it and that’s a lot of work if you don’t actually want to be my partner. But other people? There is no way, right?
Except last month, there were all these people. These people who came both because I asked and because I could not have stopped them if I tried. These random internet besties who are now actual, 3D besties. Who shopped for food and coordinated logistics and called the property manager when there was a problem. Who showed up and supported and kept the unimportant stuff from me until the hard parts were over. Who were the ultimate hype squad, glam squad, and snack squad.
It’s easy to think that these past several years all came together with the start of this company, but that’s not really it. There wouldn’t be a company without the people who I’ve picked up along the way who brought the support, the [sometimes unwarranted] belief, and the regular pushes that I needed. It was as much about what they built in me over the last few years as it has been about the idea that finally made it all clear.
You know, the ones.
Several times, I imagined my dad looking around, nodding and saying “Yep. That’s them.”
They're the ones.
Founder & CEO at elletwo
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