Written By: Lauren Howard
There isn’t enough money in the world.
If you asked me what number I would accept to be a full-time homemaker, there isn’t one.
It’s not because I don’t love my kids. I love them more than anything in this world.
It’s not because I’m an absentee parent. I literally work with one of them on my lap at least daily. They get dedicated, just us time almost every day. I can tell you everything about what they’re into and why. I can tell you when they’re not feeling well before they say a word to me. I sense when they’re not paying attention on the stairs and need to be grabbed before they tumble.
I mom hard while working hard.
They are most of my heart, just walking around outside of my body.
. . . And you still couldn’t pay me enough to stay home with them all day as my career choice—even if it was more than I make now. Even if it was a lot more than I make now.
Having children while managing career ambitions is a choice that I made, but deciding not to have children would have been an equally valid choice.
My life would not be less impressive or less valuable if I chose not to have children. That was almost a reality when it looked like we wouldn’t be able to have children. If that had not panned out, I would still be living a valuable and impactful life.
Also, like, I would be a terrible homemaker. I don’t know how to cook, and I have no desire to learn. No one told me that having kids was just figuring out what to feed them over and over until you die. I can’t manage a calendar to save my life. I can handle my own schedule because it tells me where to be and when, but someone else makes sure the right things are on there. I go where I’m told when I’m told. I get totally overstimulated by having my name called 50 times an hour, and it wears me out like I just ran a marathon.
I would be absolutely miserable.
Miserable moms lead to unhappy kids. My kids thrive because I’m fulfilled, even though it’s a lot to balance. Even though there is no way to win sometimes. Even though people will shower you with praise for being a supermom while we globally make no attempt to reduce the overall burden on mothers so they don’t have to be superhuman to do it all.
Being a homemaker because it was your choice is wonderful. Good for you.
For other people, it’s not the right thing.
For even still others, it can be a function of financial abuse and control of women who are in toxic or dangerous relationships.
It's not just as simple as deciding to stay home. It's a balancing act of personal needs, financial capabilities, and physical and psychological safety.
Regardless, the best thing that you’re going to do in your life is up to you, not to some jack@$$ who gets treated like a national treasure because he kicks a ball and uses commencement speeches to shill for the p@tri@rchy.
Founder & CEO at elletwo
Comments